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for sheet music for "THE ACE" (piano, vocal, instrumental chord charts)

Out her window she did creep
We headed on out for Lover's Leap
Made a detour by the barbeque shack
Put twelve cold beers on ice in the back
Found us a spot in the Twilight Zone
When the light of the police shone

(And he said:)
"Oh, you jack leg, you
I got the goods on you
And your sweetie too, I caught in your car
With the stars in your eyes and your brains in the bottom of your shoes
You're a hot dog, ain't you now
You're the bulldog's big bow-wow
Got fuzz on your face, you're the ace with the sweaty brow

We headed on out for another spot
just down the road from the "Dash and Dot
Saxophones croonin' on the radio
And the moon was hangin' low
Fingernails tappin' on the windowpane:
It was her great big boyfriend Wayne

(And he said:)
"Oh, you ice cream, you
I got the goods on you
And my sweetie too, I caught in your car
With the stars in your eyes and your brains in the bottom of your shoes
You're a hot dog, ain't you now
You're the bulldog's big bow-wow
Got fuzz on your face, you're the ace with the sweaty brow

Sittin' in her parlor
Drinkin' Coca-Colas
We were spinnin' the wax
She put her hair up in rollers
She was filin' her nails on the davenport
When I thought she was ready for a little sport
Tripped on the rug
spilt my Coke in her hair
Split the seat of my britches
Put my foot through a chair

(And she said:)
"Oh, you Milk Dud, you
I've had enough of you
And your Chevy II
Go home in your car
With the stars in your eyes and your brains in the bottom of your shoes
You're a hot dog, ain't you now
You're the bulldog's big bow-wow
Got fuzz on your face, you're the ace with the sweaty brow

I wish I had a dime for every time you said
Nobody loves you and you wish that you were dead
So many times you've told me "Nobody cares"
Right now I'd be a millionaire

I know someone who loves to hear you run your mouth
Someone who's always with you when you go out
Somebody loves you, someone who's true
Yes, dear, that someone is you

But nobody loves you like you dear
No heart beats as fond or as true
There's nobody dearer than the face in the mirror
Don't ever let yourself be blue

You've got so many charms that no-one else can see
Perry Mason couldn't find your secret quality
You've got some special vision, to see with great precision
What's hidden from the likes of me

I'll take my million bucks and buy you a nice farm
Out in the desert where you can't do any harm
Wouldn't you love to be a loner in lonely Arizoner
You and you alone with all your charms

'Cause nobody loves you like you dear
No heart beats as fond or as true
There's nobody dearer than the face in the mirror
Don't ever let yourself be blue

When chimney smoke hangs still and low across the stubbled fields of snow
And angry skies reach down and seize the sorry blackened bones of trees
In the dead of winter when the silent snowbirds come
You're my sweet maple sugar,honey, hot buttered rum

When dreary Christmas decorations line the streets and filling stations
And dime store Santas can't disguise their empty hands and empty eyes
In the dead of winter when the tinsel angels come
You're my sweet maple sugar, honey, hot buttered rum

When gloves and boots and woolen parkas bring cold comfort to the heart
And bitter memories freeze the tongue and words of love are left unsung
In the dead of winter when the cold feelings come
You're my sweet maple sugar, oney, hot buttered rum

I been staying up too late, well the morning aint for me
Daylight never brings much company.
With the ladies of the night, I play the game of chance
Loosin' quarters to the jukebox, buying songs to watch'em dance.

When I grow up, I'm gonna settle down,
Cause chasin' midnight ladies ain't the funnest game in town.
Oh, they disappear like dreams, I wake up sleeping in my jeans...
I'm lonesome tonight, but I got plans.

Could be I'll pan for gold, write a novel, or join a band.
I could sell produce from a roadside stand.
Sturdy wife to share my joys, a pair of healthy strappin' boys
They'll lend a helpin' hand, we'll make a fortune off the land.

When I grow up, I'm gonna settle down,
Chew honeycomb and drive a tractor, grow things in the ground.
Oh, the dream that's in my eye is just tomorrow's enterprise
I may be broke tonight but I got plans.

Haul the proceeds to the bank, and I'll soon have lots of dough
I'll buy me a villa down in Mexico.
While the maiachis play, I'll go fishin' every day
I'll cast a net so gaily on some sunny Latin bay.

When I grow up, I'm gonna settle down,
I'll take a course in business at the night school here in town
Ah, but that'll have to wait, 'cause tonight I got a date
We'll have a drink, and keep on talking 'bout my plans.

Down by the bar (a rat-faced manager was pouring suds)
For the boys (Trailways cowboys in their Good Will duds)
And the girls (a pride of peddle-pushin' pinball queens)
Chewin' gum (in sweaty combat at the Wizard machines)
But the queen of them all, lookin' big as a fort
Was Broadway Brenda and her derelict court

I ordered a blue plate special and peered out through the room
Just to see what kind of citizens inhabited this gloom
And the hapless visages I saw were innocent of cheer
Though mirthless laughter filled the air inspired by wine and beer

From these helpless accidents of Fortune's careless aim
Broadway Brenda rose upon her queen-sized six foot frame
I looked away to shun her eyes but I knew it was too late
A hand fell on my shoulder as my gaze fell on my plate
I looked her up and over (and she did the same to me)
Her teeth were green (as green as garden peas)
She shaped her hair (with dishpan fingertips)
An earthquake of excitement shook her Krakatoan hips
Her hands went to her bosom, a hush fell on the crew
An acre of Brenda lay exposed to view

These fevered words she whispered as I gazed upon the scene:
It's the custom here at Merchants Lunch to entertain the queen
I grabbed my hat (and in an instant he was on his feet)
I was sober as a judge down at the county seat
I kept my diesel up to 80 way past Baton Rouge
Made it back to Beaumont for the "Evening News"
I own a wide-load rig (he pays thousands in tax He's gonna keep it it Texas)-- I ain't leavin' for snacks
(He's a driving fool) the interstate belongs to me
But I'm never going back (into the state of Tennessee)
Oh the Merchants Lunch, it was an ocean of gloom
It looked like half past midnight in the afternoon.

from IT AIN'T RIGHT - Red Clay Ramblers Flying Fish Records FF334, 1986

Tonight we'll slump down in the back of the cab
The cop likes to gab
I'll buy him a beer
And maybe a bribe in the cover of night
Will buy me a flight out of here

Outside my window a storm's on the sea
Where I'd like to be, skippin' over the foam
Ships in the harbor face into the weather
Like cows in the meadow back home

It never stops raining in French Cameroon
So fly me away on a plane
As high and as dry as the winds on the moon
And far from the regions of rain

This once was a pearl of a tropical town
But things have gone down, and people are dying
Once I had money and plenty of girls
Now my head's in the mouth of a lion

A person could vanish with never a trace
I bury my face in my pillow and dream
I'm facing the same jungle justice that tried
And murdered the fallen regime

It never stops raining in French Cameroon
So fly me away on a plane
As high and as dry as the winds on the moon
And far from the regions of rain
Far from the regions of rain

Just across the blue ridge, where the high meadows lay
And the galax spreads through the new mown hay
There’s a rusty iron bridge, cross a shady ravine
Where the hard road ends and turns to clay
With a suitcase in his hand there the lonesome boy stands
Gazing at the river sliding by beneath his feet
But the dark water springs from the black rocks and flows
Out of sight where the twisted laurel grows

Past the coal-tipple towns in the cold December rain
Into Charleston runs the New River train
Where the hillsides are brown, and the broad valley’s stained
By a hundred thousand lives of work and pain
In a tar-paper shack out of town across the track
Stands an old used-up man trying to call something back
But his old memories fade like the city in the haze
And his days have flowed together like the rain

And the dark water springs from the black rocks and flows
Out of sight where the twisted laurel grows